Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
