I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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