I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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