she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What a dumb baby whore.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
