I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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