I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I won the penis lottery.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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