Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
