I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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