im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
me + whiskey = a bad person
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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