he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize