Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
