quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
