I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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