just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
