The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
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