im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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