I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
