yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
