Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍