i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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