You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm at about main and main street
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?