You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.