ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.