I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
