so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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