I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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