i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
