You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
