Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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