He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
