he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
