Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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