Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Everything about him screamed your future.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
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Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
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I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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