dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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