I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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