so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
