I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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