Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I believe in your delicious
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
