I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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