Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls

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(212): View more from New York

I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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(661): View more from California

No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

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(512): View more from Texas

Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

I understand why you refuse to be sober now

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

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(307): View more from Wyoming

this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.

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(330): View more from Ohio

If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.

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(903): View more from Texas

EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.

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