So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
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You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.