How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?