the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
