Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.

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  (412): The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN. http://tfl.nu/72t6
  Replies (32) Good night (1084) Bad night (3556)
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  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (134) Good night (13578) Bad night (26306)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.

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  (218): My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles. http://tfl.nu/kfaj
  Replies (18) Good night (1079) Bad night (3291)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

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  (604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was. http://tfl.nu/96eh
  Replies (21) Good night (879) Bad night (6276)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy

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  (614): see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy http://tfl.nu/v81p
  Replies (41) Good night (4674) Bad night (1397)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.

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  (303): you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it. http://tfl.nu/a3f5
  Replies (9) Good night (827) Bad night (4332)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

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  (612): i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high. http://tfl.nu/z4jl
  Replies (25) Good night (5770) Bad night (914)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.

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  (574): Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends. http://tfl.nu/hd8a
  Replies (12) Good night (3883) Bad night (1142)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.

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  (314): I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/9k0s
  Replies (9) Good night (3860) Bad night (973)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.

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  (914): Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night. http://tfl.nu/nj6b
  Replies (3) Good night (2280) Bad night (631)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  next time we drink: battle shots.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

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  (403): next time we drink: battle shots. (1-403): battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out. http://tfl.nu/hwdw
  Replies (9) Good night (1247) Bad night (697)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.

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  (469): I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy. http://tfl.nu/2dh7
  Replies (7) Good night (563) Bad night (882)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.

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  (407): When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night. http://tfl.nu/dw2v
  Replies (6) Good night (1178) Bad night (370)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha

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  (573): Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha http://tfl.nu/ecz2
  Replies (2) Good night (238) Bad night (724)
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  (739): View more from

  IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING

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  (739): IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING http://tfl.nu/up5f
  Replies (4) Good night (334) Bad night (114)

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