At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize