Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.

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  (510): We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP. http://tfl.nu/sbka
  Replies (14) Good night (1216) Bad night (668)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  are you wasted or are you getting laid?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  ebdebdebdebd

  (641): View more from Iowa

  wow

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  (641): are you wasted or are you getting laid? (515): ebdebdebdebd (641): wow http://tfl.nu/m3dh
  Replies (23) Good night (5604) Bad night (764)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.

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  (612): Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks. http://tfl.nu/s0b7
  Replies (27) Good night (1320) Bad night (4152)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me

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  (214): I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me http://tfl.nu/9k7n
  Replies (57) Good night (5751) Bad night (1069)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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  (813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln
  Replies (125) Good night (15362) Bad night (1522)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Reggie can tackle my bush.

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  (630): Reggie can tackle my bush. http://tfl.nu/9r8z
  Replies (32) Good night (4437) Bad night (1275)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"

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  (630): Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind" http://tfl.nu/dke2
  Replies (17) Good night (5074) Bad night (1122)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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  (304): He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends. http://tfl.nu/db22
  Replies (7) Good night (1183) Bad night (3488)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea

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  (517): drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea http://tfl.nu/z8sz
  Replies (29) Good night (3834) Bad night (1912)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

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  (920): The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap. http://tfl.nu/xkff
  Replies (8) Good night (713) Bad night (4460)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.

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  (815): I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much. http://tfl.nu/aut4
  Replies (12) Good night (3318) Bad night (2040)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.

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  (914): I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life. http://tfl.nu/ku4v
  Replies (3) Good night (2580) Bad night (932)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.

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  (719): It would have been the trifecta of dick for her. http://tfl.nu/7ntl
  Replies (7) Good night (951) Bad night (1260)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.

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  (301): she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud. http://tfl.nu/ij9c
  Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (323)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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  (571): I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar." http://tfl.nu/n1ur
  Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (263)

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