Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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