The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
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I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.