She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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