If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
