this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
my nose is crying tears of wow.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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