Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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