If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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