I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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