Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
