so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize