we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
