Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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