My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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