I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
