Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you didnt know i had herpes?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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