She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
