I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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