found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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