Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
did i walk over a car last night?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
