I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
then he tried to convert me to islam
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
