I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So squirting runs in the family.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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