You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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