I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
ok first of all what the fuck
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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